Bully
by PaladinTersias
Summary: One night, Seifer takes things too far. When he realizes this, he also realizes that all the hate he had thought he felt for Hayner was actually love.
1. Running from Him

If he didn't think about it, it wasn't there. If he didn't speak about it, it never happened. If he distanced himself from the world and let everything escape his mind, he wouldn't remember. He hoped, for the sake of his sanity, that he didn't think about it or speak about it or remember it. But hoping wasn't enough.

He ran faster and harder than he ever had before, but Seifer was much stronger and faster, and in no time the older blond caught up. Sharp pain rain up Hayner's back, and he fell to his knees with a choked sob. His throat was tight and every breath felt like fire. There was laughter, and at that point, Hayner tried to put his mind elsewhere.

A boot slammed into his stomach, and he gagged, the wind knocked clean from his lungs. He slammed a fist on the ground and squeezed his eyes shut, trying not to sob but failing miserably. He hadn't even done anything to deserve Seifer's wrath- why was the older blond attacking like he was? "Stop..." Hayner cried, weakly, flinching and screaming as Seifer's fist slammed into his jaw.

"What's that, Chicken Wuss?" Seifer mocked, standing over Hayner's pathetic-looking figure. "I couldn't quite hear. Did you tell me to kick harder?" Shrugging like he was merely completing a request, he kicked the younger blond in the side. "Fuck you, Hayner."

"Why are you doing this?" Hayner managed to ask, spitting out blood. He had bit his tongue during the last kick, and knew without a doubt, that there would be more blood where that came from. He refused to look at Seifer, so he stared at the pavement, which seemed to get increasingly darker the longer he stared.

"Because you're a Chicken Wuss and I'm stronger than you. You're an annoying little twerp who thinks he can be better than me, and I won't have that. You hang out with two equally annoying twerps and I just can't even stand to look at you." There was enough hesitation for Hayner to notice, and he cocked an eyebrow. Seifer couldn't see the questioning look, thank the gods, but it was definitely there. Why was he hesitant?

"Whatever. Just finish up here so I can get home."

Seifer spat, looking away. "It's not as fun when you request it." He mumbled. Even so, he decided that one last kick would make him feel better. He aimed right for the stomach, and watched as Hayner took it. But he kicked too hard. Hayner's eyes widened and he coughed, a drop of blood forming at the corner of his lips. He clutched wildly at his stomach, gasping for air. It hurt. It hurt too much.

"H-Hayner?" Seifer's stomach was doing somersaults. What had he done? "Hayner I'm sorry, are you alright?" He hated to admit he was sorry, but he had gone a step too far, and now Hayner looked like he was dying. It was a horrifying, pathetic sight- enemy suddenly trying to help enemy after beating him for no reason. He pulled Hayner into his arms and felt his stomach and ribs, horrified to find that at least one rib was broken. He wasn't a doctor, so he had no idea what sort of damage he had done to his stomach- but it wasn't good.

Gently, Seifer set Hayner onto the pavement. The blond's breathing was evening out, which was reassuring. He would call an ambulance soon, when he was sure that Hayner wouldn't die right there. He wasn't thinking of the flawed logic in his plan, just crying to himself for being such a dick and stroking Hayner's hair.

"I didn't do anything to deserve this..." Hayner whispered, his voice weak.

"I know... I know." Seifer cooed, voice trembling. A few tears splashed onto Hayner's already wet face, and he wiped them away as they blond's blue eyes closed. He was alive, and it was time to get help.

"I don't hate you Hayner. I've never hated you." Seifer was sobbing, then, as he stood. "Never hated you..." With that, he dashed off, towards the nearest Gas station, where he called an ambulance.


	2. At the Hospital

Five days. It took five days for Seifer to gain the courage to show Hayner his regretful face.

He walked into the hospital with a small box of chocolates, feeling pretty pathetic. Mostly because it seemed, to him, degrading to bring an enemy a box of chocolates. He wasn't entirely sure if he really felt they were still enemies, but it still seemed rather pathetic. He rounded a corner, watching the room numbers atop door frames increase until finally, he reached 356. He half-expected Pence or Olette to be there, but the room was empty and Hayner appeared to be sleeping.

It took Seifer a while to finally step in, his heart sinking as he stared at the still-fairly-large bruise on the blond's jaw. He did that. He hurt Hayner like that. Sighing, he took a seat near the side of the hospital bed. The sound of Hayner's voice caught him off guard.

"Why are you here?" The younger blond demanded to know, turning to stare at Seifer's shocked face. "To make fun of me while I'm recovering from the shit you put me through? I wouldn't be surprised." He rolled his eyes and waited for a response. But Seifer was at a loss for words.

"I..." He paused, thinking, not sure how to word anything. Maybe he would just leave and let Hayner recover and find him, and then they could verbally spar as much as they wanted without making him feel like shit. "Uhh..." Hayner cocked an eyebrow.

"What? Can't think of anything mean enough?"

"Please, stop, Hayner. Please. I came to apologize for what I did. I brought you some chocolates, but I'm not sure you'll be able to eat them right now. I'm... I'm so sorry about what I did, Hayner. I really am." He paused several times to take sharp breaths. It was hard to be so nice, so... Not Seifer.

Hayner didn't reply, he just lay there with a hand over his aching stomach and blue eyes on Seifer's obviously regretful figure. Everything about him screamed to Hayner that he was sorry- from the slumped position to his watering eyes. A shuddering sigh escaped the elder's lips, and then Hayner couldn't help but feel like a jerk.

"I shouldn't say sorry to you. Not after this. But I can't ignore the fact that for once in your life, you seem sincere. I'll probably only ever say this once, to you, Seifer. Sorry."

The elder, though, couldn't smile. Could not bring that little spark of recognition plaster itself to his face. He wiped a stray tear and stood, hating how feminine he probably seemed. He was crying. And over what? Hayner? How horrendously pathetic. "I'll leave then, seeing as you obviously don't want to see me. I want you to understand that I am sorry, though. Hayner. I really am. I didn't mean to kick you so hard... I don't even know why I attacked you. I guess... I was just... Ugh, I don't know." He turned to exit, but Hayner's voice stopped him.

"I heard what you said- the night you did this to me. The last words you said." He was saying, and Seifer sighed, frowning.

"Goodbye Hayner."

He didn't let the blonde stop him again as he left. As he exited the hospital and made his way to the small apartment at the edge of town, he thought about nothing but the weak looking figure of Hayner and how much he had just wanted to reach out and touch him- his face, his chest, everything.

Shaking his head to rid himself of the images that flooded it, he focused on getting home and away from everything that was real.


	3. Revelation and Heartache

**It's been a while, huh? I was reading this over last night and decided it needed to be continued. The chapter is short (too short in my opinion) but what can you do? I'll probably write more, and there -may- be some yaoi in the next chapter. Enjoy!**

Days turned to weeks and weeks to months. Hayner was discharged from the hospital a week after Seifer had visited, and since that day, the younger blond hadn't seen a lick of his attacker. He figured to himself that he finally got what he wanted, for that arrogant punk to get off his back. But he also figured that he'd be off his back forever, which was, for reasons unknown to him, undesirable. It wasn't that Hayner hated Seifer as a person, because if he asked himself, that wasn't the problem. It was Seifer's arrogance and I'll-kick-your-ass attitude that got to him. And, of course, the beatings.

He let out a seep sigh on his way home from his usual walk, which wasn't so usual before Seifer attacked him. It was his way of letting out all of his hate for the man and for himself. The sky was getting dark, and by the time he would get home, it would be cold and the shadows would make his heart race. That's how it always was, and he wasn't sure why he allowed himself to stay out so late when he knew that the dark had started to get to him.

As if to curse him for thinking about it, as he rounded the corner to his street, he felt watched. Immediately his body stiffened and his heart raced, the night coming back to him. He looked around, expecting a running blonde to come at him full force. But there was nothing. The street was empty. Seifer wasn't there. "Goddamn..." he sighed, "He made me into such a fucking..."

"Chicken wuss." Seifer said, completing the thought. Hayner reeled around so fast that he fell to the ground. Whimpering, he backed away until his back hit the cold cement of a house. Seifer frowned. "I... I'm sorry I scared you." Scratching his head, he moved toward Hayner with his free hand outstretched. The younger blond hesitated, but took the other's hand and allowed him to pull him up.

"Yeah, a fucking chicken wuss. I can't even walk home without thinking about that night." Hayner growled. But almost immediately, his face softened and he looked away. "Still, you fucking asshole. Still, I'm glad you're here." He began to walk away from Seifer, who followed, leaving plenty of space between them. "What did you mean when you told me you never hated me?" He asked, looking slightly over his shoulder for a moment.

"What do you mean by you're glad I'm here?" Seifer whispered. "How could you ever be glad to see me, of all people, after what I did to you?" He shoved his hands into the pockets of his coat and looked toward the sky. "I hate myself for that."

"I asked first, I think I at least deserve an answer from you." Hayner muttered. "answers for answers."

"I don't know. Well, I do, but... You'll hate it more than if I just kept my mouth shut. Maybe we could both go without answers for tonight." Seifer stopped and pulled off his beanie to scratch his head awkwardly. "If you don't mind, I should probably be going." He turned on his heel to leave Hayner, who almost let it happen. But then, he stepped forward and grabbed Seifer's jacket to stop him.

"I do mind." He said, "I do mind very much. If you want to see what you did to me, if you want that image in your head, then I'll show it to you. That, or you just answer my question. I don't care how much you think I'll hate you- If i wanted to hate you, I'd have done it by now. You almost killed me. So just spit it out, wuss." Seifer stumbled backwards, as though Hayner had dealt multiple blows to his stomach. With a hand on the concrete of the house to steady himself, he stared at Hayner.

"What I meant by I don't hate you is just that. I don't hate you." He swallowed, hard. "My actions were guided by jealousy and hatred, because you have everything you want. You have friends and you can smile and people are there for you. Ands that's probably not all. See..." He chuckled darkly, like it was breaking him to admit it, "You see, I think that maybe I... love... you." he pressed his fingers together awkardly and turned away.

"You what?"

"Ah ah ah, Hayner. I asked something before you."

"Oh." Hayner flushed crimson. He turned away as well, so their backs were to each other. "I..."

"Spit it out, if you'll recall, I need to leave, chicken wuss."

"Well I... was going to tell you that even though you nearly killed me, I don't hate you either. And, now, after you mentioned it, I think I might know why I can't hate you." They both turned to each other then, their gazes not meeting. "Maybe... I... love...you too." Hayner's brow furrowed, the word tasting weird while directed at Seifer, his nemesis. Or maybe, his friend. "Where was it that you needed to go, anyways?"

Seifer sighed. "Home."

"But isn't that just a few blocks away? Why do you have to go now?"

"Because if I don't, I'll miss my flight."

"Your what?"

"Goodbye, Hayner."


	4. The Airport is Waiting

**I apologize in advance for the shortness, but this is all leading up to the Seiner goodness you've all been waiting for. I'm also considering rewriting some of the chapters when I'm done writing this, so... stay tuned? Enjoy! :D**

In his head, Seifer wanted Hayner to get the fuck away from him. To just let him go through with it so he wouldn't have to live with the guilt he carried about attacking the kid. In his heart, though, he was begging Hayner to keep following him and convince him that it really would be alright. Wordlessly, he continued on toward the airport. Every time he looked back, Hayner was still there, his head hung. Like he had done something wrong.

"Why don't you just piss off?" Seifer said, as menacingly as possible. Hayner looked up for a moment, but then hung his head again and kept walking. "Come on, Chicken Wuss, just piss off!" He spun around to look angrily at Hayner, who refused to meet his gaze. "You know, you're making it really hard for me to go. I shouldn't have even stopped you to say goodbye." His hand flew into the air dramatically as he spoke, but Hayner didn't notice. With his eyes averted, he finally spoke up.

"Either you just keep walkin on down to that airport with me in tow, or you stop now and forget leaving." He looked up, and Seifer realized that he hadn't been doing so because he was crying. Hayner had been crying over him the whole time and he was a jerk, yet again. He shook his head and told himself that he had to leave, that it wasn't fair for Hayner to have to see his face anymore. But he wasn't listening to himself because Hayner looked so pathetic with his face stained with tears. Tears over him.

"God Damn it, Hayner!" He whispered harshly, mostly to himself. "Why can't you just let me go? I'm not worth your time. For fuck's sake, Hayner, I almost killed you! How can you just follow me around like it didn't happen?" Seifer turned away from the other blond, because tears were starting to form in his eyes. They burned hot trails down his face, and for a moment, he just let them fall.

"Because... I guess because I've always liked you as a person. You aren't the bad guy. Your temper is." Hayner said. He snaked his arms around Seifer's waist and pressed his face against the other's back. "A temper can be changed and modified, while a person's soul and personality are strictly their own. Unique. I've always understood that..." Seifer's whole body had stiffened at his touch and Hayner noticed a distinct change in the other's breathing patterns. His breaths came out in short huffs, like he was trying to hold them in but couldn't any longer.

"Please, Hayner, please let go of me..." He whispered, his voice cracking. The younger blond obeyed, hesitantly, and stepped back. Seifer began to walk away, not looking back. Hayner let out a sound that was between a sigh and a growl. And he followed Seifer once again. "I can't... just..." Hayner could tell he was crying.

The moon was high in the sky. It's light reflected off of everything, allowing the two to see perfectly. Somewhere a wolf howled, and somewhere else music played. As they reached the airport, Seifer finally turned back around. The clock tower's bell rang, creating a slightly more dramatic air about their farewell.

"So that's it." Hayner growled. "You're just going to leave then?"

Seifer looked down. Damn his tears for watering so.

"You're a fucking asshole, you know that? I'm giving you a chance to forget about your mistakes, to be with the one you supposedly love, and you're leaving?" Hayner shoved his hands into the pocket of his hoodie and stared at Seifer's frozen figure. He seemed like he was trying to make an important decision, and he was. Hayner or a Flight home? Forgiveness or perpetual guilt? Love or loneliness? Hayner turned to leave.

"Wait... Hayner..." Seifer whispered.

"What do you want? I'm tired of your goodbyes."

"I wanted... to know..." a shuddering intake of breath, "If I... could... go home with you." He pulled the plane ticket from his pocket and tore it in half. The two pieces of paper flew away in the spring breeze. Hayner stood frozen. "If not that, then would you walk with me until I get back to my place?"

"Y-You... could come back with me, if that's really.. what you... Seifer, are you serious?"

He shrugged. "It's too late to figure that out, now that the ticket is gone." He walked past Hayner.

"Um... Seifer?"

"Yeah?"

"My house is this way."


	5. His Story, Goodnight

**Uwahhh! This chapter was actually pretty fun to write! It gives some insight into why Seifer acts like he does. Please do enjoy! (Obviously the events that are depicted in this chapter are not true to the Kingdom Hearts story line and I do not own either of these characters.)**

"Hayner?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I tell you a story?"

"Of course."

"Okay..." Seifer paused. "I haven't ever told anyone else this story."

They had just entered Hayner's small apartment when he had asked. They gave themselves to the couch, one on either side, so that neither of them touched the other. Seifer cleared his throat dramatically and Hayner snuggled against the cushions.

* * *

_When I was younger, I liked to run. My mom hated that about me because it would usually mean that she'd have to chase me, and she hated running. My father didn't mind it, I didn't think, because he never said anything about it. By the time I was thirteen, I was running places I shouldn't have been running. Parties, taverns... You name it, I was there. My mum caught on quicker than my pop, who didn't find out until I was fifteen. I didn't know why she never told him, either._

_Until he found out._

_The moment I came home from school that day, still out of breath, he was on me. Literally. His fist made contact with my face so fast I didn't even feel the pain for a few seconds. I remember freezing up with this look of utter bewilderment, trying to find out what had struck me so fast. And then he grabbed me by the hair and dragged me to my room, where he threw me to the bed. I hit my head hard on the wood, but to my dismay, I remained conscious. I really wish I hadn't, considering what he did._

_i had never taken my dad as a violent man. I knew he drank, but not once had he ever lifted a finger to me. But something in the fact that I wasn't a perfect little angel really got to him. That, and the drinks he had before I got home. He beat me relentlessly, ignoring my screams like my mother was doing, somewhere in the house. She was probably crying, or maybe she wasn't, I would never know._

_When he was satisfied with my busted face, he... Well, to put it simply, he raped me._

_The only words he said as he did it were: "You ignorant fool, you stupid bastard. Is this what you want? You wanna be fucked? Is that why you hang around at those parties? For a little pleasure? Here ya go, son, enjoy." What spoke louder was his smile, twisted and wicked. In that moment, I had never known fear more intense than what I was feeling. I had never known pain, emotional or physical, until my father..._

_My own father..._

_He took me as his prize, to teach me a lesson I didn't need to learn._

_When he finished, he stood above me. I was trembling, crying, trying to figure some sort of sense into the whole thing. But it wasn't there. There wasn't a reason... He smiled at his work and his fast came smashing down upon my face, and everything went completely dark._

_I woke up in a hospital. I had been out for more than twenty-four hours, and I learned that in that short period of time, my father had been arrested. As for my mother, nobody had seen her leave, which meant that no one knew where she was or where she was going. She left, and whether in fear or guilt, I had no idea. They were going to put me into Foster care, and they almost did, but I managed to do the exact thing my mother had, the exact thing I had always done. I ran._

_I ran do damn far, and so damn hard..._

_And I found this little town. But I was damaged. Nothing could erase the images of what had happened from my brain. It seemed to broadcast it to the world, and I got the feeling that everyone knew. Everyone who saw me knew of my humiliation, and what was worse, I felt like they thought I welcomed it. It felt like every single one of them turned a judgemental eye on me, and so I got angry._

_I found a little group that accepted me and I went with them. And I became the biggest bully of them all._

* * *

Sometime during the story, Hayner had gotten closer to Seifer. At some point, their hands entwined. Because Hayner understood everything now.

"S-Seifer..." He whispered, "Did that really happen to you?" He immediately felt stupid for asking a question about something so obviously touchy. Seifer didn't say anything, just squeezed Hayner's hand. That was all he need to know. "My god... I'm so sorry..."

"Don't be. It's not my fault my father was such a sick bastard..."

Hayner snuggled even closer. Seifer stiffened at the closeness of their bodies, and Hayner now knew why. "I can move... if you need me to..."

"No... I... need to get over it." Seifer paused, "I really do think that I love you Hayner. I mean... look at you. I almost killed you and here you are, listening to a story that I've been too afraid to tell, snuggling against me like... nothing ever happened."

"Don't be so hard on yourself about it. I've forgiven and forgotten... That's behind me. And though one's past is no excuse for such extreme actions, I understand why you were driven to it. Just..." He paused, his brows furrowing as he thought of a response worth saying, "Don't talk about it anymore, please." Seifer nodded slowly in a silent agreement, but in his heart he knew that at some point he'd have to bring it up again. But to make Hayner happy, he would keep it to himself.

"Hayner..."

"Yeah?"

"Would you... Would you kiss me?"

Hayner looked Seifer in the eyes with a half-smile. "Are you sure? I don't want to push things with you."

"I'm asking you, aren't I?"

The two stared at each other for a moment, and then, because he could no longer resist Seifer's lips, Hayner pressed his own to them. And although Seifer's entire body stiffened, and he frantically pulled away, Hayner knew it was a start toward something greater.

"I'm sorry..." Seifer whined,

"Don't be." Hayner whispered, laying his head against Seifer's chest. "It's not your fault he was such a sick bastard."


	6. Friction

**Wahhh. This took so long to write, and there are probably a thousand problems with it but I don't care because it's finally here. The steamy lemony yaoi goodness I've been promising since forever. (It's explicit, guys, so read at your own risk) There will probably still be more chapters after this, too. I guess just enjoy and please REVIEW! I want your comments/CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. I want to improve. :)**

**Thank you for the Reviews so far, as well. They've definitely kept me interested in continuing! ENJOY! :)  
**

Things were wonderful.

Right up until the point where Hayner opened his big fat mouth.

He meant no harm by it. He only meant for Roxas to understand why he had even considered dating Seifer. He wanted him to know why Seifer had acted like he did, and more importantly, he wanted him to know that Seifer would never do it again. At least he figured he wouldn't because, for fucks sake, they were dating. They had come upon a mutual understanding of the situation and both regretted whatever negative actions occurred in the past. That was behind them...

But Seifer was pissed. When he approached the blondes to tell Hayner that it was time to go home, he overheard the last part of the conversation. The last little bit that just so happened to be the last little part of the story Seifer had told not two weeks before. He tried to hide the rage and, most of all, hurt, but it was evident on his face. With his teeth clenched, he delivered his message and started home without Hayner. It would be the first time that he went to his own house since the day before he bought his plane ticket.

"Seifer, wait!" Hayner called after him. He didn't turn back. Roxas said something and Hayner stopped following for a moment. But Seifer didn't look back, just kept going with his hands shoved in his pockets. He tried to hold back the betrayed tears that threatened to fall, but it was as hard to hide as his anger. They fell, leaving their mark on the pavement. How dare he? "Seifer!"

Hayner had caught up and, without thinking, he grabbed Seifer's hand. The older blond turned around fast and yanked his hand away, lifting it as if to strike Hayner. "Don't fucking touch me, don't fucking look at me, don't. fucking. follow me." He spat. Hayner was flinching away from the raised hand, expecting it to be taken down, but it remained poised, ready to strike. "You think that just because... Just because I say I love you, just because I told you that... you can just tell your friends? You didn't even think to ask me, you fucking prick." He turned on his heels, leaving a still-flinching Hayner behind.

"B-But Seifer, wait! Goddamn it, let me explain myself!" He ran to catch up again, but he kept a safe distance between them. "I didn't tell just anybody, for your information, and I definitely didn't do it to spite you!" He said. Seifer didn't react to his words. "Damn it, Seifer..." He growled and then yelled, "LISTEN TO ME!" The older blond stopped in his tracks, but remained turned away. "Now don't go making me look like the fucking bad guy here, because I was only explaining myself to my best friend."

"What does explaining yourself have to do with what happened to me?"

"If you haven't noticed, I haven't really been hanging out with my friends." Hayner growled, "And what's more confusing to them is that I'm hanging around with YOU instead. You remember the part where you beat the shit out of me? Yeah, they do too." He folded his arms across his chest and huffed. "I wanted him to know a little bit about you so he could understand why I don't think you're the biggest asshole on Earth. Roxas is my best friend, and you seem to have missed the part where I made him promise not to tell anything. And if there's anyone I trust more than anyone else here, it's Roxas."

Seifer began to walk away, which made Hayner's heart sink.

"What the fuck, man? So I do one thing wrong and that's it? You're leaving again. It wasn't even that bad, damn it, I was just explaining-" Seifer made a low grunt in his throat, as if to tell Hayner to shut up. But he wasn't having it. Now he was pissed, because Seifer was being a total prick about it, and it wasn't even like Roxas would ever tell anyone anyway. "God, you're a fucking pain, you know. I'm trying and trying and trying to be a good boyfriend... Is that even what we are? Because it doesn't feel like it..." He continued on, prattling like a first-grader, until they got to Seifer's house. He didn't even really realize he was there.

Until Seifer pinned him against the closed wooden door, both hands plastered to either side of his head. Their lips were suddenly very close, and Hayner felt a rush of what he could only describe as surprised pleasure. "You listen to me, and you listen to me good, Hayner." Seifer whispered, his eyes moving from the other's lips to his eyes and back again. "I want you to get this straight right now. I'm not going to leave you again, but what you did was out of line." He tilted his face like he was about to kiss Hayner, but kept their lips apart. "That subject is really touchy for me, you understand?"

Hayner nodded.

"I don't care if you told the most trustworthy person in the world. It doesn't matter. Just don't..." He tilted his face a bit more, moving his lips just a fraction closer. Hayner fought the urge to kiss him with everything he had. "Open your big mouth about it anymore."

The lips met, then. They both seemed fairly unsure of what to do next, but then Seifer's tongue brushed past Hayner's lips, which parted automatically, and their tongues danced. It was like their bodies had finally realized what was going on and they were guiding themselves into something that they had craved for what seemed like forever. Seifer pressed himself closer to Hayner so that their bodies matched; shoulder to shoulder, chest to chest, pelvis to pelvis.

Hayner groaned.

They pulled away.

"Holy..." was all Hayner could manage, which brought a fleeting smile to Seifer's face. The younger blond tried to smile back but couldn't manage anything, mostly because the urge to smile was being replaced by the urge to get into Seifer's pants. His own pants seemed a bit too tight for his liking, and the way his heart was thundering in his chest made it obvious to him that something was about to happen. And whatever it was and however it was done, he would enjoy it.

Very much.

Seifer remained pressed to his body, pinning him against the door, breathing heavily. The feeling was driving Hayner insane. He needed to do something, anything but just stand there, but the feeling of Seifer's body on his own kept him frozen to his spot. It seemed as though Seifer was frozen, too.

"Seifer?" Hayner breathed, afraid he would break the moment by talking.

"Yeah?"

"You okay?"

He pondered it for a moment, wondering if he was. Being so close to someone, especially another male, brought very undesirable images to the front of his brain. But at the same time, being with Hayner was exhilarating and completely different than what his father had done. It wasn't the same, he told himself. It just wasn't the same.

"Yeah. Just..." a pause, "trying to forget is all."

He smiled as sweetly as he could manage, and threw himself back into the present. His hands were suddenly exploring Hayner's body, snaking their way up and under his shirt to feel the silky skin beneath. The years of Struggle practice had really shaped the kid, and though it was hard to tell through the baggy shirts he wore, Hayner had a nice set of abs. At least to Seifer, who groaned deep in his throat at the feel of them.

"Your fingers feel-" Hayner hissed through his teeth as Seifer's fingers found the bud of one of his nipples and squeezed. "So good..." The older smiled and leaned his face down to the younger's chest to mouth the nipple through the fabric of his shirt, eliciting short, excited gasps. Hayner looked down at him through half closed eyes, trying to keep himself under control. Seifer was making it rather impossible, though, with his hands exploring and his mouth teasing.

"Let's get rid of this shirt. It's-" He growled, low and deep, as he took the shirt off and threw it somewhere behind him. "Getting in my way..." Seifer pressed his lips firmly against Hayner's again in another kiss, which he pulled away from quickly. Before Hayner could protest, Seifer was trailing kisses down his jaw and across the soft flesh of his neck. He stopped there to suckle and revel in the softness of Hayner's skin, and then continued down to kiss his shoulders and collarbone.

At which point Hayner decided to do a little exploring himself. Whereas his hands had been still, pressed to the door like the rest of his body (which was getting far too hot, now that he thought about it), they were now trailing up Seifer's sides and along his back. This sudden change did not go unnoticed, and for a few moments Seifer froze again, simply enjoying Hayner's touch.

It was nothing like what his father had done.

Hayner's hands were soft, gentle.

Maybe even a little scared.

His father's hands had been rough and merciless.

"Seifer?"

He hadn't realized he had spaced out, and he damned himself for letting the thoughts come back to him. He was enjoying himself very much, and the last thing he wanted was to stop because of some memories that weren't worth remembering. He pulled Hayner up from the door and leaned the blond into him. Their arms wrapped around each others waists. "I'm sorry, love..." He whispered. "but perhaps we should move to the couch."

Hayner swallowed hard.

The couch.

AKA, the point of no return.

"O-okay." He whispered, shaking off the blank look Seifer had had just moments ago. "Only if you're sure you're ready for something like that... I'm not saying I'm not enjoying this, because, oh my god, I am. But if you aren't..."

Seifer stopped him with a stare that said both, "Shut up before you ruin it" and, "Get the fuck over here and let me take you, you sexy beast." Hayner chuckled and allowed himself to be taken to the couch, where he was almost immediately stripped of the remainder of his clothes. Seifer allowed Hayner to undress him, smiling as the last layers of protection were stripped.

"It takes so much longer for these things to happen in the movies..." Seifer said, "But it's not like I'm complaining. I've kept us waiting long enough." He pinned Hayner down on the couch (boy, he had a thing with pinning the kid down), their naked bodies pressing together. And it would be a lie to say that they didn't realize how much they wanted each other. Because their erect members said it all.

And while Seifer seemed somewhat in control, Hayner lay below him, almost whimpering with anticipation. He had seen every inch of Seifer's body, even some scars (which he was pretty sure he knew the origin of) and the sight of the others erection had sent his mind reeling. All he wanted was Seifer (namely Seifer inside of him), and while the other joked above him, his own erection was becoming more and more painful.

Which was slowly becoming obvious to Seifer.

His expression softened a bit as he leaned down to press a kiss to Hayner's lips.

Hayner wasn't expecting the sudden intrusion of his entrance by a finger. The sensation was a lot more odd than he had ever imagined. But at the same time, it felt alright. Seifer deepened the kiss as he slid another finger in. Nothing could distract Hayner from the pain that all but overtook the oddness. He whined, just barely in his throat, as Seifer scissored his fingers inside of the younger blond, preparing him as best he knew how.

Very unlike what had happened with his father.

There was no preparation.

There wasn't such kindness in punishment.

Seifer pulled himself from the memory this time, as he pulled his fingers from Hayner's entrance. It seemed as though while he was thinking, Hayner had taken pleasure from the motion of his fingers. The look on his face was begging Seifer for more. Much more.

And Seifer was pretty sure he was ready to deliver.

He pulled Hayner's legs up to rest on his shoulders, positioning himself at the boy's entrance. Softly, he asked, "Are you ready, my love?"

To which Hayner responded with a needier-than-necessary whine.

Seifer leaned down to kiss him, much like he had moments before, and as he did, he pushed himself in. He didn't stop halfway, he didn't pull out when Hayner cried out in pain. He pushed himself hilt-deep and froze.

The memories came, whether he liked it or not.

His own pain, mirrored on Hayner's face.

(It's not the same)

The pleasure his father must have felt.

(It's not the same)

The sick and twisted truth of it all, the same image of a child being hurt. So fucking hurt.

(It's not the same, it's not the same, it's not the same)

"Seifer?" Hayner whined, "Seifer, are you okay?"

He was crying, dammit. He was crying while buried hilt-deep in Hayner, like he was the one in pain. Like he was being violated there, where it hurt the most. He felt almost sick. He began to pull out.

"S-Seifer, please... don't..." Hayner begged, "Please don't leave me... You feel so good..."

He pushed himself back in, eliciting a moan of sheer ecstasy from Hayner. "Hayner, I... I... don't know if..." He hung his head, remaining still inside his lover. "I don't think I can..."

"You can." He moaned. "This is completely different than what happened to you. I want you to."

"But... doesn't it hurt?" Seifer whined, "I don't want to hurt you..."

"It did, and it always will, but I don't mind so long as you're the one doing it." He managed a smile, which was immediately replaced with an expression of pleasure. Because Seifer pulled himself out halfway and thrusted back into Hayner. Pulled out. Thrusted. He went slow (too slowly if you asked Hayner, but what could he do about it?) at first, still unsure. But then, as he watched Hayner's face, he realized that it was okay. Hayner was okay.

It really...

It really wasn't the same.

His thrusts became progressively faster and harder. Their bodies were covered in a thin film of sweat, but neither really noticed. They were too focused on the overwhelming pleasure cascading over them.

"A-AH!" Hayner cried out as Seifer found his sweet spot. "S-SEIFER!"

And it was the most beautiful sound Seifer had ever heard.

He positioned himself so that every thrust found this spot, and every thrust pulled his name from Hayner's lungs. His hands roamed around the others chest, stopping at his nipples and then trailing down to his bellybutton. As his peak approached, his hands moved even farther, to wrap around Hayner's erection.

"Nnnnnghhh, Seifer..." He was moaning, "My fucking god, Seifer..."

The older blond's hand stroked smooth paths down Hayner's erection, first painfully slow, and then, as he felt the coils in his abdomen about to release, he cried Hayner's name and stroked hard and fast. The result sent the air right out of Hayner's lungs as he released his seed all over Seifer's hand. He managed a pathetic cry from whatever air remained before gasping to bring more air into his lungs. Seifer could barely hold himself up after spilling himself into Hayner, but as a finale to their first time, he brought his hand seductively to his lips and licked the sticky white fluid from his hand.

Hayner groaned. Seifer smiled.

And then he collapsed onto the others chest and closed his eyes.

"Hayner..." He whispered, "Hayner, my love... My sweet... I love you so..."

He didn't get to finish because exhaustion overtook him.

But Hayner completed it for him.

"I love you so much." He whispered as he kissed Seifer on the forehead.


End file.
